Together Again
by Yardbird9
Summary: Arnold's life without Helga


Disclaimer: Do I own Hey Arnold? Me? No……….…not I. I'm not that lucky.

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Helga gasps for air, fighting for her life, crying out in pain.

"Helga! Hang on!" I bravely say, but my voice breaks down with fear.

I try to control her falling from the bed. I just called Gerald and Phoebe to come quickly for help. She's screaming in pain, while I'm pinning her down, since she's in her final stage of cancer. Slowly, she weakens and falls slowly back on her bed, but in severe pain.

"Arnold help me!" she cries.

"I'm sorry, Helga."

My eyes are welling with tears, because there's nothing anyone in the world could do to help her, including myself. Her breath becomes very slow, while her eyes widen and then close very slowly. Suddenly, she gave one final breath and became silent. I looked in horror, as I picked up her hand and there wasn't any pulse.

"NOOOOOOO!"

"HELGA!"

"DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!"

I cry out in pain and agony, as I fell beside her bed, clutching her hand. Gerald and Phoebe run into the room, but stop suddenly in shock, when they found me beside her bed clutching her lifeless hand crying. 

"HELGA DON'T LEAVE ME!"

I woke up suddenly in a cold sweat, out of breath. I immediately sat up in my bed, gazing quickly at the right side of the bed, praying that it was only a dream. But I found an empty side of my bed. I stare in disbelief for a few seconds, but reality hit me hard. She's gone.

This has been a recurring dream every night for the past 3 months. I fight back the tears, as I ask myself, why did this happen? But I got nothing for an answer. I slowly get out of bed, since the day officially began and prepare myself for another day without her. After I dressed, I went out of my bedroom.

"Linda! Franklin! Time to get up."

"Yes Daddy" Linda cheerfully replies. But I only hear a muffle voice coming from Franklin's room.

Franklin's reply should have raised a red flag, but my senses didn't pick it up. I went downstairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for them. By the time I had breakfast ready, Linda runs to the table, sitting down and proceeds to eat. She combs her blonde pigtails. She's the exact image of her mother at 11 years old.

"Good morning Daddy." She says with a big smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart." I return the smile. But I could not look at her very long, since she reminds me of her mother.

Before I could ask Linda her plans for today in school, Linda's 9 year old brother slowly enters the kitchen. He silently approaches the table and sits down. But he suddenly gazes at Linda and I with a far off look in his eyes.

"Hey Linda, hey Football Head."

"Franklin! How could you say that name to Daddy! No one calls Daddy that name except Mommy!"

I never thought I would hear that name again, and coming from my own son. But I gather my thoughts.

"That's right. But just call me Daddy. Is that so hard to do?"

Franklin ponders briefly, but he reluctantly gives in.

"OK Dad."

I try to understand how Franklin feels. Maybe he's feeling the same way I am about the death of his mother. We ate in silence. I have a difficult time making conversation to them. I could always talk to them with ease and we always had a good time talking to each other. After all, we're family. But now, we're drifting apart. I had to do something very soon, before it's too late. But I could not think of anything. Once they finished breakfast, they got up, got their books and said goodbye to me. I sat alone for a few minutes with my coffee reflecting my life. I gaze at a picture on the mantle piece of Helga and I on our wedding day.

I just finished washing the dishes, when I hear the sound of a car horn coming from the front of the house. I knew my old friend Gerald is waiting for me. I gather my things together and proceed out the front door. I walk a little slow to Gerald's car and I notice for the first time that I couldn't look at him, and yet, I didn't know why? Gerald notices my movement.

"Hey Gerald" I slowly said.

"Hey Arnold. Ready for another day good buddy?" He says with a flash of cheerfulness that was once a former part of myself, a long time ago.

I stop dead in my tracks and thought about my life, forgetting everything else, including Gerald. I seem to be going into this trance many times and Gerald already senses it.

"Hey Arnold!"

I snap out of my trance quickly.

"Huh? Oh……um……sorry Gerald."

I got in and we drove off in the direction of downtown.

We both work downtown, so it's convenient for us to carpool. We sit in silence. Gerald senses that I'm very down, so he breaks the ice.

"You know, Phoebe and I are very excited about her pregnancy of our first child. We decided not to find out if it's a boy or a girl, since it heightens the moment."

Gerald waits for my reply. But I'm still speechless, not knowing what to say, even though my best friend gave me plenty to talk about. But I could not speak. Finally, I ask. 

"When's the baby due?"

"In 2 months" Gerald says with a little excitement. "So there's plenty of time to get all that we need ready for the baby. But we're so excited, that we already have everything in place."

Gerald continues talking the rest of the way of our trip, while I'm still deep in thought about my life. Or did I have a life? Do I have a life without Helga? The answer to that question came in the form of me slowly slipping into another trance, as if I was slowly losing the battle to live. I tried to fight slipping into a trance by looking up in the sky to watch the clouds. Watching the clouds used to give me peace, but they gave me nothing.

Before we reach my office, Gerald gave me a reminder.

"Remember to come by our house at 7 today for dinner with your kids. Phoebe and I always have a good time with them, probably because we're about to have our first child. At least we are finding out what it's like to be with children and we are enjoying every minute of it."

But I'm still lost in thought.

"Hey Arnold!"

I snap out of it, quickly replying.

"Oh, sorry Gerald. That will be fine. Of course we will be there at 7."

Gerald's car halts in front of my office tower. I slowly get out with a little hesitancy, as if I didn't want to go to work. But I turn to Gerald, without looking into his face.

"Meet me here at 5 to pick me up, Gerald."

"No problem, my man."

I slowly approach my office building with regret. I feel like I couldn't enter the building and without hesitating, I turn around and was about to run back to Gerald's car. But as I turn, I gaze at Gerald watching me, in which he flashes a smile of hope. I look at his smile briefly, and I became ashamed of what I wanted to do. I force a smile on my face and give a quick wave to Gerald, as I hurry into my office building so I wouldn't even consider running away from my job. But as I enter the office tower, Gerald shakes his head in disbelief.

"Hmmm hmmmm. Don't give up my dear friend. You have Phi and I, as well as your kids." A lone tear falls from Gerald's face.

As I enter the building, I took the elevator to my office on the 40th floor. Once I got to my desk I fired up the computer. I proceed to continue writing my novel that I began 6 months ago. As I look at the screen, I review my previous work to get an inspiration for the rest of my work. As I ponder, William, a coworker, approaches me from behind, studying my work.

"You know, Arnold. At the rate you're working on this epic of a story, it will be considered an endangered species by the time you finish."

I slowly turn around with a little uncertainty.

"Yeah, I'm finding it hard to finish for some reason, but I have a feeling I will get my act together soon."

"Maybe" William slowly says. "But you know Tony is getting a little anxious about it for 2 months, so I hope you get inspired very soon."

He acknowledges silently, as he turns to walk away. I sigh, wondering how I will complete my story feeling the way I do for the past 3 months and no improvement in sight. After 3 hours with not a word created, I decided to take the rest of the day off, since it was Friday. I left a message on Tony's computer explaining my situation. I felt he would understand since he knew about my hardship. I left a message to Gerald, saying I was leaving early to go home, so he didn't have to pick me up. I left the building and caught the next metro out of downtown.

After I arrive home, I enter the family room and sit at my desk, with my computer sitting on top. But I couldn't turn it on. I look at my boom box on my desk and turn on the radio. I begin to hear a guitar and bass slowly playing, with piano and light drums. Then the seductive voice begins singing.

"The first time, ever I saw your face."

"I thought the sun, rose in your eyes."

"And the moon and the stars"

"Were the gifts you gave"

"To the dark and the endless skies, my love"

"To the dark and the endless skies".

"No Helga, please, that's your song to me!" I cry. "I can never hear you sing it to me again! Don't do this to me!"

I immediately turn off the radio and put in a cassette tape to play it. A haunting guitar starts playing alone. I begin to tremble with fear. "Oh no, not this!" 

"I close my eyes."

"Only for a moment, and the moments gone."

"All my dreams."

"Best before my eyes a curiosity."

"Dust in the wind."

"All we are is dust in the wind."

I stop the cassette from playing in anger. My head fell face down onto the desk screaming.

"She's only dust and I can't have her back!!!"

I cry in pain, with a blackness taking control over me and lost consciousness.

I don't know how long I was out, but I began to hear the sound of children talking. I raise my head from the desk. Linda and Franklin enter the front door of the house. I quickly try to get my composure, before they enter the family room. They enter the family room together, but stop suddenly when they saw my presence.

"Hi Daddy." Linda says with surprise.

"Hey dad, why are you home so early?" Franklin asks in wonder.

I had a hard time finding the right answer for such a simple question. I sigh. 

"Business was slow today, and since it's Friday, I decided to take the afternoon off. Also, very soon, we'll go visit Gerald and Phoebe, to have dinner and a relaxing evening. Are you two ready to visit them?"

Their eyes light up, when I mentioned Gerald and Phoebe.

"That's great, Dad!" Franklin enthusiastically says. "Gerald said that the next time I see him, he's going to show me a special handshake. It sounds very cool."

"Phoebe said she wants to teach me how to speak Japanese." Linda says excitedly. "She said that she taught Mommy how to understand and speak Japanese. Is that true Daddy?"

Thoughts were racing through my mind of Gerald and I giving our special handshake, while Helga and Phoebe were talking to each other in Japanese. Gerald and I stood together, watching them with delight their conversation.

"Earth to Dad." Franklin says, while shaking his head in disbelief.

I snap out of it quickly.

"Oh…uh…yes Linda, that is true about Mommy."

But my voice trails off and I became silent again. They stare at me in confusion, not knowing why I look and act the way I did. But I quickly gather my thoughts. 

"Why don't you two start getting ready and meet me here in the family room."

"OK Daddy." Linda smiles and races off to her room.

Franklin stood for a moment. His deep blue eyes were probing me and I felt he would see through my charade.

"Sure Dad." He walks slowly to his room, looking at me with concern. 

We all were ready and immediately headed out of the house into the car. As I drive, Linda and Franklin were talking in the back seat of the car, about the coming events at the Johansen residence. At least they will be happy being with Gerald and Phoebe, I thought to myself. I should be at peace with my best friend and Helga's best friend, but I felt so alone and out of place. Maybe I should just drop off the kids and go back home, I thought. I will end up spoiling the evening. Gerald and Phoebe are the most supportive people in my life and I owe them for so much love and kindness they have given me. But they could only do so much for me. Now they have reached their limit and didn't know what else to do.

We arrive at their home in a short period of time, since they live close by. Their home has a Japanese flair to it, that I could not describe. But it's enchanting to look at. The kids jump out immediately and race to their front door, softly lit with the porch light. They eagerly ring the doorbell. Gerald opens the door to be suddenly embraced by Linda, giving him a warm hug.

"Whoa, Linda!" Gerald says with surprise, but returns her hug.

"Oh Gerald, you always like my hugs" Linda sweetly says.

"I know, princess. You sure look exactly like your mother." Gerald warmly replies. "Phoebe is in the kitchen, if you're ready to start your Japanese lesson."

She smiles and immediately runs into the kitchen.

Gerald looks at me walking up to the house slowly and notices that I'm holding my head down, trying not to look at him. Before Gerald could speak, Franklin grabs him by the hand and drags him into the house.

"Come on Gerald and show me that special hand shake."

Gerald smiles and begins showing Franklin our handshake. I walk slowly to the front door and stop at the threshold, as I watch Gerald and Franklin flipping their thumbs to each other. Once Gerald demonstrates the handshake, Franklin starts laughing with delight.

"This is awesome, Gerald! Wait till I show this to my best friend Paul. I just know that he'll love it!"

"I'm glad you have a best friend, Franklin." Gerald sincerely says. "And you can show this handshake to him and use it together for years to come. I hope he will be a best friend as long as your father and I have been best friends." 

"Man!" Franklin says with amazement. "That must be a very long time, considering how old you guys are."

"It's a long time Franklin, and well worth it." Gerald says with pride, while he looks at me. I sigh and slightly turn my head away from Gerald.

Gerald is about to speak to me again, when suddenly we hear Phoebe announcing.

"Soups on."

Phoebe and Linda carry out dinner of a special Japanese dish. When I see Phoebe for the first time, she takes my breath away, as I gaze upon a beautiful woman being 7 months pregnant. Her pregnancy gives her such beauty and glow that I'm mesmerized by her. Gerald approaches her side, kissing her lightly on the cheek, and taking her dish to the table. Phoebe immediately appoaches me, wrapping her arms around me.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Arnold! You should come over more often!"

I froze a little, which I shouldn't have done, but I feel very helpless. I want to tell her about how beautiful she looks. But as I try to speak, my mind went blank. 

"Phoebe……..Uh………..I……………"

I break away from her embrace, holding my head down speechless and ashamed, that I couldn't say anything. Phoebe is surprised and a little hurt by my rejection, as her arms continue to stay in the same position when she held me in her arms, with her hands slowly opened outward. She looks at me with concern as she's about to speak, when Gerald silently approaches my side and escorts me to the table.

I sit down in silence. Fortunately, everyone else doesn't follow my example, as they begin to talk to each other and start to eat. Linda and Franklin were having a great time talking to Gerald and Phoebe, as the conversation never stops. I sit at one end of the table away from the rest. Phoebe's cooking is always good, but I'm not hungry. Every once in a while, Gerald and Phoebe look in my direction with concern, but continue talking with the kids. After dinner, Phoebe rises from her chair, facing Linda and Franklin.

"Why don't you two go into living room and watch one of our videos?"

They jump up and head into the living room. They were very excited to check out their vast video collection and begin talking about which video to watch. After they left, Phoebe closes the door to the living room. She came back to the table and sat down. 

We sit in silence, not knowing what to do. I sit with my head down, afraid to look at my dear friends in the face. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I begin to quiver. Finally, Gerald slowly breaks the silence.

"I know how you feel, man."

I suddenly stand up and cry.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT, GERALD!"

"You will never understand exactly how I feel, because it has never happen to you two, like it has to me!" 

I slam my fist on the table in despair and agony turning myself away from them, while Gerald and Phoebe watch in pain.

Gerald begins to approach me. But I slowly turn around, as I raise my hand to him, to let him know that I'm all right. I gaze at the floor with tears in my eyes. Slowly, I raise my head, as I pour my heart out.

"If there's any consolation that has come from this, is that you guys have now discussed with each other about what to do if the other dies. At least you will know what to do and how to get on with your life. But I never had that chance to talk to Helga about it, so I will never know how she felt. I feel so frustrated not knowing. But what I do know, is that if I died, I would want Helga to continue with her life. That means giving her heart and soul to the children, who need her very much. Also, to go out and be with her close friends. What I don't know, is should she remarry? I really don't want her to, but then I am being so selfish. After all, my life is over, and her life would continue. All I really want is for her to be happy and if it means remarry, then let it be. But what would Helga say to me if she died?" 

As I try to figure out that question, I could feel as if Helga's soul is touching me. Once Helga's soul touched me, I knew the answer.

"I think Helga would say the same to me. I know that she would want me to give all of my love to our children. As well as be with my friends, especially my closest friends. And they happen to be my best friend and my wife's best friend, who by coincidence, are married to each other." 

Gerald and Phoebe smile, with tears in their eyes.

"All I know is that I'm not going out looking for love. But what if love comes to me? I don't know. All I know is that no one can ever replace Helga. She has given me so much of her heart and soul to me. Since I will not be looking for love, I will end up being with you guys more often. I hope I will not extend my visits to the point that you will hate me for visiting you too much."

Phoebe runs up to me crying, as she wraps her arms tightly around me, giving me a warm embrace. Gerald smiles, as he slowly walks up to me and gently places his arm around my shoulder.

"That will never happen my main man. You will always be welcome to our home."

All of a sudden, I feel as if a heavy weight is lifted from me. I feel so light, I would fall to the ground. My body is elated with joy and happiness, I whisper with a cry.

"Please don't let me go. I need you both so much!"

"We will never let you go, Arnold!" Phoebe continues crying, as she looks up to me with a loving smile on her face. Gerald warmly smiles with pride.

"My dear friend. You always helped Phoebe and I through the years. It gives us great pleasure to give you help and comfort. We're always here for you, when you need us."

"Thank you Gerald, thank you Phoebe." My voice is still quivering from crying.

As they held on to me, I look out the window watching the gradual fall of leaves to the ground, covering the earth in many colors. After I gain my composure, I let go of my friends with renew strength.

"Well…my dearest friends. I better be getting back to the house, along with my daughter and son. I need to talk to them about their mother, which I haven't done. They need to know everything about their mother, since she gave so much to life and to be proud of her. They're my family. They're the closest things to my heart. But you guys are next in line to my heart. We will have many things to talk about. I will talk to them tonight and continue talking to them, for as long as they want."

I call Linda and Franklin, as I walk to the living room. They open the living room door and approach me with wonder in their smiles.

"Yes Daddy." 

I look at them with tears in my eyes and knelt down, as I give them a big hug. I cry a little.

"Why are you crying, Daddy?" Linda asks with a little concern.

"Because I love you both very much." I say in tears.

I feel like I'm melting in their arms. I slowly release them and rise.

"Tonight, I want to talk to you about your Mother. We will continue to talk about her for as long as you two want. I will answer every question you ask. What do you say?"

They quickly run to me, to give me the biggest hug, as they cry.

"Oh Daddy! Please tell us everything about Mommy!"

I hold them tight. We slowly went to the front door to open it and pass through. As we were going down the sidewalk, I look back for a moment watching Gerald and Phoebe standing at the threshold. He gives me a thumb's up and she blew me a kiss. I pick up my left hand and symbolically caught her kiss and put it to my face. I wave at them saying goodbye, got into the car and drove away. Gerald and Phoebe stood for a moment, as they watch me drive away. Gerald slowly smiles.

"Phi, I think he has peace, now."

"I hope so, Gerald."

Gerald slowly wraps his arms around Phoebe from behind her, holding their unborn baby.

"Our child will know everything about us, Phi. Everything."

She turns to him with a smile, giving a loving look in her eyes.

I came up my driveway and parked the car. The kids got out in a hurry and race to the house. I open the door, as they both rush in.

"Are you ready to tell us everything about Mommy?" Franklin anxiously asks. I smile at my son.

"You two go into the family room and wait for me. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Come to us soon, please Daddy?" Linda's eyes plead.

"I will, sweetheart." I reassure her. She smiles, as she and her brother walk into the family room to wait for me.

I close the door, stepping outside onto the front porch and look up at the **starry night**. I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moments gone.

"Helga, I miss you so much."

I turn to go inside and open the door, when I heard a faint voice behind me, like the wind.

"I miss you too, my love. And when your time comes, I'll be waiting for you."

I close the door, thinking.

"And then we'll be together again, forever."

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End file.
